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Top 10 Things I Want to See on the Late Show before David Letterman Retires

It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of David Letterman. From the morning show, to Late Night to the CBS Late Show, Dave’s been my TV pal all of my life. I cried the night Johnny Carson signed off for the last time. This will be harder. So, as a super-fan, these are the top 10 things I’d like to see happen on the show before Dave retires. Many are long-shots, but a guy can dream.

  1. An episode where the guests are Teri Garr, Bonnie Hunt and Julia Roberts. Throughout the show’s history, these three ladies shared special chemistry with Dave. Flirty was funny, and the audience was rewarded. It would be hilarious to see the three of them ambush him at once. Let’s see Dave’s TV girlfriends one last time, and all at once.

  2. A Radio City Music Hall special. At Late Night, anniversaries were often celebrated at Radio City, complete with show girls and a mega-celebrity super band booked by Paul. Give the fans one more mega show honoring our favorite show.

  3. Something really big with Steve Martin. At the Morning Show, Steve rolled out in a bed from which he stayed in for the entire interview. Of course the crown jewel of these bits was Dave and Steve’s Big Gay Vacation. Let’s see them go even bigger one last time.

  4. An entire episode of Stupid Pet Tricks, Stupid Human Tricks and Kid Inventors. Just Dave interacting with the regular folks and their talents.

  5. A street piece, any street piece. Dave used to do street bits where he’d deliver a gift basket to GE Executives, go to the beach with a car full of Ford model agency models, or show up at fan’s houses. One more please.

  6. Let’s see Dave play the drums. He always offers to buy bands’ drum kits. He loves drums so much that he’s done Drum Solo Week a couple of times. Let’s see him play. Paul and the band can cover his ass. Give the fans a set behind the kit. Anton won’t mind.

  7. Let celebrities pay their respects. It’s been known that producers tell guests that Dave doesn’t want them to bring up his retirement or embarrass him with praise or goodbyes. Understandable, but fans need some of this to help us through the transition. I propose that CBS does a show that Dave doesn’t even have to be there for where people pay tribute. Johnny sucked it up and let it happen. Come on Dave, we need our goodbyes.

  8. Skits where Paul, Biff, Tony, Allen and others are interviewing for new jobs. It writes itself, and let us have a little screen time with our other TV pals before they are gone. Who doesn’t want to see Tony Mendez losing his temper while waiting tables? Or Alan Kalter telling a head hunter to go F themselves? Let’s see Paul auditioning to be a cohost on the View. You get the idea.

  9. Stunts and Cams. Bring back the Late Night Monkey or Horror style cams here and there. Drop some stuff off of the roof. Fire a t-shirt cannon onto Broadway. Don the Velcro suit one last time. Peg Anton with snowballs.

  10. Darlene Love and Jay Thomas Christmas Special. This tradition has become my favorite Holiday tradition. One more please. I’ll know to record it and save it forever.