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When I Grow Up

When I grow up I’d like to see the entire world, even gay Paris.  When I grow up I want to fly, like an astronaut through space and time.

People wonder why I’ve not taken time to grow up yet, so I always happily reply that I’ll grow up when I’m dead.

When I grow up I want to meet a nice girl. When I grow up I wanna change the world. When I grow up I wanna stay up late. When I grow up I want to procrastinate. When I grow up I want to go real crazy. When I grow up I want to have butt sex with a real, live lady.

People say you’re in your thirties, why don’t you just grow up. I say that you’re a big, stupid head, why don’t you just shut-up.

When I grow up I don’t want to be any sort of celebrity. When I grow up I hope you don’t see me on television or in magazines. I’ll take rich, but I don’t want to be famous. Because when I grow up I’m going to act really shameless. Drinking wine with women who can not tame us, get real crazy and act like I’m brainless. Like now. I mean, just like now.