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You can judge this book by it’s cover.

Above is the cover to the latest issue of Superman comics. The crappy artwork almost sums up what is inside. No, Superman doesn’t become a vampire, who tramples the entire US, which this cover nearly implies. In fact, he barely makes an appearance, in what is possibly the worst issue of the comic book ever published. And that includes that far-out, campy Silver Age stuff.

This issue gives the reader very little, except for lots of hacky artwork to go along with a very hacky story.

The issue revolves around Perry White hiring a hipster to infiltrate a blog, which claims to have a photo of Superman and Lois Lane kissing. Perry ends up dissuading Superman from “stepping in” (which read sort of like Superman was issuing a death threat to me) and eventually hires both the hipster and the blogger. The end.

Exciting right? (sarcasm)

Being the first issue since J. Michael Straczynski stepped down, Superfans were all curious what direction the book would go in, and especially curious as to how Superman’s current storyline, where he is walking around the country, seeing “real” America would be handled. Apparently the direction of the book is headed down the toilet.

Straczynski flubbed up Wonder Woman big time, but he was doing great writing in the pages of Superman. A lot of fans didn’t enjoy the walkabout story, but I really think that’s because we just finished a whole year with Clark off planet in a crappy story. The walkabout story was just getting interesting, when Straczynski was removed from the title and moved over to Earth 1.

Now we’ve got cheese with no meat in the pages of Superman. A pretty unfulfilling sandwich. This issue of Superman is the worst thing to happen to the character since Tim Burton designed that God-awful black laser suit, which we thankfully never had to see Nick Cage wear on the screen.

Please DC, I’m begging you. Continue the character exploration Clark was going through under Staczynski. Do something similar in Action Comics with Lex Luthor. Let’s REALLY get to know these characters again. And then bring them back together in an epic battle of morality. Superfans need this. We need it soon. You’re ruining the big blue boy scout. Please make it stop.

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